• Dr. Herpy

Stupid Question Of The Day

By Emma Hershberger

May 22, 2020

Dear Future Web Builders, Enjoy this class while it lasts. It is one of the most fun and creative classes to take here at Kenston High School. There are so many different routes you can take to improve our already awesome website. It is a time to remember. You are surrounded by peers who enjoy creating just like you and an even cooler teacher who will guide you through anything. I hope you have a great semester in Web Design. You won’t regret it! -Emma Hershberger.

May 21, 2020

  • How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?

May 20, 2020

  • Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

May 19, 2020

  • Why is a boxing ring square?

May 18, 2020

  • Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?

May 15, 2020

  • Can blind people dream?

May 14, 2020

  • If you’re trying to fail and you succeed, did you fail or did you succeed?

May 13, 2020

  • Did we invent math or did we discover it?

May 12, 2020

  • Who decided what’s right and wrong?

May 11, 2020

  • Which orange came first – the fruit or the color?

May 8, 2020

  • What color is a mirror?

May 7, 2020

  • Do they have the word “dictionary” in the dictionary?

May 5, 2020

  • How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?

May 4, 2020

  • Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?

May 1, 2020

  • If vampires can’t see their reflections, why is their hair always so neat?

April 30, 2020

  • Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

April 29, 2020

  • Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?

April 28, 2020

  • Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

April 27, 2020

  • Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

April 24, 2020

  • At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

April 23, 2020

  • If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has a right to talk?

April 22, 2020

  • Why do they sterilize lethal injection?

April 21, 2020

  • If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don’t they fall through the floor?

April 20, 2020

  • When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

April 17, 2020

  • Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.

April 16, 2020

  • Can a short person “talk down” to a taller person?

April 15, 2020

  • Why does quicksand work slowly?

April 14, 2020

  • Can you daydream at night?

April 9, 2020

  • How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

April 8, 2020

  • Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

April 7, 2020

  • Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

April 6, 2020

  • If someone owns a piece of land, how deep does their ownership go? Do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?

April 3, 2020

  • Why is room temperature used as a measurement of warmth when not all rooms have the same temperature?

April 2, 2020

  • Where did dictionary makers look to find the meanings for the words before dictionaries were in existence?

April 1, 2020

  • Eating your dessert before a meal will spoil your appetite, then won’t eating a meal before your dessert ruin your appetite for dessert?

March 31, 2020

  • What do you call a male lady bug?

March 30, 2020

  • Is it possible to see someone’s tears underwater?

March 12, 2020

  • Do you need to set an appointment to see a psychic or will they be expecting you?

March 11, 2020

  • When they say that a specific dog food has a new and improved flavor, who tests it?

March 10, 2020

  • Is the sea salty because the shore never waves back?

March 9, 2020

  • Why are there things called unsolved mysteries? Shouldn’t they be unsolved in the first place to be called a mystery?

March 5, 2020

  • Why is drowsiness listed as a side-effect for sleeping pills?

March 3, 2020

  • Do hummingbirds hum because they can’t remember any of the words?

March 2, 2020

  • If you eat yourself will you get twice as big or disappear completely?

February 26, 2020

  • If you throw your cat outside, will it be called kitty litter?

February 25, 2020

  • How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

February 24, 2020

  • Why are oranges, orange?

February 21, 2020

  • Why do we call them oranges when half of them are yellow?

February 20, 2020

  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

February 19, 2020

  • What do people in China call their good plates?

February 18, 2020

  • If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

February 13, 2020

  • How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?

February 12, 2020

  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why’s it still #2?

February 11, 2020

  • If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

February 10, 2020

  • If Cinderella’s slipper fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

February 7, 2020

  • If a person suffering from amnesia was suddenly cured, would they remember that they had no memory?

February 6, 2020

  • Why do we say that an alarm clock goes ‘off’ when it actually turns on?

February 5, 2020

  • Do people who stutter also stutter in their thoughts?

February 4, 2020

  • Is it possible to blow up a balloon underwater?

February 3, 2020

  • Can blind people see their dreams?

January 31, 2020

  • Do penguins have knees?

January 30, 2020

  • If all of the world is in debt, where did that money go? Who do we owe money to?

January 29, 2020

  • Do mermaids give birth to live children or do they lay eggs?

January 28, 2020

  • Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?

January 27, 2020

  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavors but dish washing soap is made with real lemons?

January 24, 2020

  • If a Smurf starts to choke, what color will it become?

By Connor Kramer

December 18, 2019

  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

December 17, 2019

  • If you only have one eye…are you blinking or winking?

December 16, 2019

  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why’s it still #2?

December 13, 2019

  • Why are people left or right handed?

December 12, 2019

  • Are pizza rolls just gushers made of pizza?

December 11, 2019

  • Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?

December 10, 2019

  • Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?

December 9, 2019

  • If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

December 6, 2019

  • If you were born deaf what language do you think in?

December 5, 2019

  • Why do people say the alarm just went off if it just came on?

December 4, 2019

  • Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

December 3, 2019

  • Why are they called “stands” when they’re made for sitting?

December 2, 2019

  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

November 25, 2019

  • How do “Do not walk on the grass” signs get there?

November 22, 2019

  • Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

November 21, 2019

  • Where’s the egg in an egg roll?

November 20, 2019

  • Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?

November 19, 2019

  • Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

November 18, 2019

  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

November 15, 2019

  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

November 14, 2019

  • Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

November 12, 2019

  • If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

November 11, 2019

  •  

November 7, 2019

  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

November 6, 2019

  • Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?

November 5, 2019

  • Why is the word for “a fear of long words,” hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?

November 4, 2019

  • What do people in China call their good plates?

November 1, 2019

  • Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

October 31, 2019

  • Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food?

October 30, 2019

  • Why is it called beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll.

October 29, 2019

  • Why is it called a “drive through” if you have to stop?

October 28, 2019

October 25, 2019

  • If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?

October 24, 2019

  • How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?

October 23, 2019

  • If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

October 22, 2019

  • If an escalator breaks down, does it become stairs?

October 21, 2019

  • Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

October 17, 2019

  • What happened to Old Zealand?

October 15, 2019

  • If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water… how did she ever bathe?

October 14, 2019

  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

October 11, 2019

  • Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

October 10, 2019

  • If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

October 8, 2019

  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

October 7, 2019

  • Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?

October 4, 2019

  • Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

October 3, 2019

  • Are the good things that come to people who wait, the leftovers of people who went before them?

October 2, 2019

  • Do English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?

October 1, 2019

  • Why is it that when you move something from one place to another in a car it’s called shipping, but if you do it with a boat it’s called cargo?

September 30, 2019

  • Is a hotdog a sandwich?

September 27, 2019

  • What can one catch that is not thrown?

September 26, 2019

  • At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

September 25, 2019

  • Why do they call it a TV “set” when you only get one?

September 24, 2019

  • After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

September 23, 2019

  • Why are Softballs hard?

September 20, 2019

  • How much milk is there in the Milky Way?

September 19, 2019

  • If you eat yourself, would you become twice as big or disappear completely?

September 18, 2019

  • What is a male ladybug called?

September 17, 2019

  • What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?

September 13, 2019

  • What’s a question with no answer called?

September 12, 2019

  • If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?

September 11, 2019

  • Do fish get thirsty?

September 10, 2019

  • Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

September 9, 2019

  • Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it?

September 6, 2019

  • Can you cry under water?

September 5, 2019

  • If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

September 4, 2019

  • If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

September 3, 2019

  • Is it possible to make toast in the microwave?

August 29, 2019

  • If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

August 28, 2019

  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too?

By Sarah Jaroch and Keirstan Mesnick

May 22, 2019

  • Is the Earth round like a ball or like a plate?
  • Why are humans supposed to be in shape? Which shape are they talking about?

May 21, 2019

  • If you crash a car on purpose, is it still an accident?
  • If you lift a shopping cart in the air does that mean you’re shoplifting?

May 20, 2019

  • If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  • Why are Softballs hard?

May 17, 2019

  • Are pets called pets because we pet them, or do we pet them because they’re called pets?

May 16, 2019

  • Why are bananas berries but strawberries are not?
  • Is Disney world a people trap operated by a mouse?

May 15, 2019

  • Can a pancake ever be a waffle?
  • Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?

May 14, 2019

  • What would happen if a police committed a crime?
  • If life is unfair to everyone, does that make it fair?

May 13, 2019

  • Do clothes in China say “made around the corner” or something along those lines?
  • If Cinderella’s shoes fit perfect why did it fall off?

May 10, 2019

  • Why do wise guy and wise man mean totally different things?
  • Why do we wash bath towels if we’re always clean when we use them?

May 9, 2019

  • Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground up close?
  • Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

May 8, 2019

  • Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from coca beans, and all beans are vegetables?
  • You know how most packages say “Open here”? What do you do if the package says “Open somewhere else”?

May 7, 2019

  • Has anyone ever called you to ask where the remote it?
  • Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” if we’re already there?

May 6, 2019

  • If the funeral procession is at night, do they drive with their lights off?
  • If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?

May 3, 2019

  • Why do we put shirts in a suit case and suits in a garment bag?
  • Why do they call it quick sand if you get sucked down slowly?

May 2, 2019

  • Why do they make scented toilet paper?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

May 1, 2019

  • Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
  • How does the snow plow driver get to work in the morning?

April 30, 2019

  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • If a cow laughed, would milk come out of their nose?

April 29, 2019

  • Is there a synonym for synonym?
  • If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look the way they do?

April 26, 2019

  • If you save time, when do you get it back?
  • Why do we call something sent by car, shipment and something sent by ship, cargo?

April 25, 2019

  • Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
  • If the president was gay, would his husband be the first man?

April 24, 2019

  • Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

April 23, 2019

  • Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
  • If a fork was made of gold, would it still be called silverware?

April 18, 2019

  • Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
  • Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game,” when we are already there?

April 17, 2019

  • What’s a question with no answer called?
  • Why is Charlie short for Charles if they have the same number of letters?

April 16, 2019

  • When something is funny why is it called a “knee-slapper” when you actually slap your thigh?
  • Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved all of America’s problems?

April 15, 2019

  • Why do we say “pair of pants” if there is only one article of clothing involved?
  • Why do your feet smell but your nose runs?

April 12, 2019

  • Why don’t you ever see ads for advertising companies?
  • Why do all superheros wear underwear on the outside?

April 11, 2019

  • Can we spell “creativity” however we want?
  • What happens when you get ‘scared half to death’ twice?

April 10, 2019

  • If a two year old hands you a toy phone, do you answer it?
  • What percent of celery is water?

April 9, 2019

  • Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an inlet?

April 8, 2019

  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
  • Can you cry under water?

April 5, 2019

  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
  • Why do kids learn math when they could just use calculators like the grown-ups?

April 4, 2019

  • When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
  • Why is Greenland called green when it is covered in ice?

April 3, 2019

  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

April 2, 2019

  • Can blind people see their dreams?
  • If you press the 60 second button on the microwave, will it cook for 60 seconds or one minute?

April 1, 2019

  • Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?
  • If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

March 22, 2019

  • Why do we call them oranges when half of ’em are yellow?
  • Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?

March 21, 2019

  • Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat ‘Macaroni’?
  • Why is “the fear of long words”, hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, so long?

March 20, 2019

  • Why aren’t blue berries blue?
  • Are you left or right eyed?

March 19, 2019

  • Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on Start?
  • How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

March 18, 2019

  • What’s the color of your toothbrush?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

March 15, 2019

  • Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
  • If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

March 14, 2019

  • Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
  • Why do they call it a TV “set” when you only get one?

March 13, 2019

  • Why is it called “beauty sleep” if you wake up looking like a troll?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

March 12, 2019

  • How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

March 11, 2019

  • Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
  • If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

March 7, 2019

  • You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can’t you be simply whelmed?
  • Do turkeys get sleepy from that thing in turkey that makes you sleepy?

March 6, 2019

  • Why aren’t apple chargers called apple juice?
  • Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

March 5, 2019

  • Why do we scrub down and wash up?
  • How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated?

March 4, 2019

  • Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
  • What would happen if a police committed a crime?

March 1, 2019

  • Why does it hurt to hit your funny bone?
  • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

February 28, 2019

  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food?

February 27, 2019

  • How is birthday cake a flavor, if birthday cakes can be any flavor?
  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

February 26, 2019

  • If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
  • Where’s the egg in an egg roll?

February 25, 2019

  • Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
  • Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

February 22, 2019

  • Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
  • Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?

February 21, 2019

  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?
  • Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

February 20, 2019

  • How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

February 19, 2019

  • Who wants to own a convertible that you drive only to work and back?
  • Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

February 14, 2019

  • What’s the meaning of life?
  • Can’t the postman give it to the garbage man and save us the hassle?

February 13, 2019

  • What disease did cured ham actually have?
  • Why is it called a “drive through” if you have to stop?

February 12, 2019

  • What do people in China call their good plates?
  • Why does Goofy stand up straight, while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs.

February 11, 2019

  • How do “Do not walk on the grass” signs get there?
  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

February 8, 2019

  • If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  • Why are Softballs hard?

February 7, 2019

  • Why isn’t 11 pronounced “onety-one”?
  • How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?

February 6, 2019

  • If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
  • Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

February 5, 2019

  • Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
  • Why do we still call it “shipping” when it goes by plane and truck?

February 4, 2019

  • Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

February 1, 2019

  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

January 29, 2019

  • What does water taste like?
  • Can you see darkness?

January 28, 2019

  • Are pets called pets because we pet them, or do we pet them because they’re called pets?

January 25, 2019

  • Does Lightning McQueen buy life insurance or car insurance?
  • If a vacuum sucks, does that mean it’s bad?

January 24, 2019

  • Why is there a ‘D’ in ‘fridge’ but not in ‘refrigerator’?
  • How do you throw away a garbage can?

January 23, 2019

  • If you drop soap on the floor is the soap clean or is the floor dirty?
  • Why is a building called a building if it’s already built?

January 22, 2019

  • Why do people say the alarm just went off if it just came on?
  • Is sand called sand because it’s between the sea and the land?

January 18, 2019

  • If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
  • Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an inlet?

November 20, 2018

  • Do crabs think fish are flying?
  • If no one buys a ticket to a movie, do they still show it?

November 19, 2018

  • Is water wet?
  • If you can’t drink and drive, why do bars having parking lots?

November 16, 2018

  • Can a pancake ever be a waffle?
  • Why do dogs bark but cats meow?

November 13, 2018

  • How many sides does a circle have?
  • If you take the wings off a fly does it become a walk?

November 12, 2018

  • Why is the word for “a fear of long words,” hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?
  • Is Spongebob some sort of sea creature?

November 8, 2018

  • Can you cry under water?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

November 7, 2018

  • Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
  • Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

November 6, 2018

  • If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

November 5, 2018

  • If you drop soap on the floor, is the soap dirty or the floor clean?
  • Do clothes in China say “made around the corner” or something along those lines?

November 2, 2018

  • Why isn’t 11 pronounced “onety-one”?
  • Why do we say “eats like a bird” when every day a bird eats its own weight in food?

November 1, 2018

  • What do you call male ballerinas?
  • Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

October 31, 2018

  • Can 2+2 ever equal 5?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

October 30, 2018

  • Are there birds in Canada?
  • Did NASA invent thunderstorms to cover up space battles?

October 29, 2018

  • Does it take 18 months for twins to be born, instead of 9?
  • Are chickens animals or birds?

October 26, 2018

  • 9+10?
  • If Cinderella’s shoes fit perfect why did it fall off?

October 25, 2018

  • If you give someone Christmas wrapping for Christmas, do you wrap the wrapping?
  • What does water taste like?

October 24, 2018

  • If life is unfair to everyone, does that make it fair?
  • Where does the word go when you erase it on paper?

October 23, 2018

  • If only 2% is milk, then what is the other 98%?
  • If you’re cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?

October 22, 2018

  • If two mind readers are reading each other’s mind. Who’s mind are they reading?
  • If Ebola breaks in Vegas, does it stay in Vegas?

October 19, 2018

  • If a turtle loses its shell, is it homeless or naked?
  • If two right handed people killed each other, who would be left?

October 18, 2018

  • If you see two bigfoot, are they called bigfeet or bigfoots?
  • Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday is so close to Monday?

October 17, 2018

  • If more cheese equals more holes, and more holes equals less cheese, then more cheese equals less cheese?
  • Is there another word synonym?

October 16, 2018

  • Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
  • Can you cry under water?

October 15, 2018 

  • Can blind people see their dreams?
  • You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can’t you be simply whelmed?

October 11, 2018

  • Is the Earth round like a ball or like a plate?
  • Why are humans supposed to be in shape? Which shape are they talking about?

October 9, 2018

  • When Cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
  • Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an inlet?

October 8, 2018

  • If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
  • If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

October 5, 2018

  • What disease did cured ham actually have?
  • Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

October 4, 2018

  • What if batman gets bitten by a vampire?
  • If I save time, when do I get it back?

October 3, 2018

  • Did they purposely make dyslexia hard to spell?
  • Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

October 2, 2018

  • Why do we say “pair of pants” when it is only one article of clothing?
  • Why do we call something sent by a car a shipment and something sent by a ship cargo?

October 1, 2018

  • Why is the zero on a phone after the one and not before?
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

September 28, 2018

  • If a cow laughed would milk come out its nose?
  • If I ate myself would I become 2 times bigger or disappear completely?

September 27, 2018

  • Is it true cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
  • Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

September 26, 2018

  • Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?
  • If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

September 25, 2018

  • Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?
  • Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food?

September 24, 2018

  • Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
  • Why do kids learn math when they could just use calculators like real men?

September 21, 2018

  • Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?
  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

September 20, 2018

  • Do blind people feel ‘Love at first sight’?
  • How long is a piece of string?

September 19, 2018

  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
  • Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

September 18, 2018

  • When you clean the vacuum cleaner, do you become the vacuum cleaner?
  • How do “Do not walk on the grass” signs get there?

September 17, 2018

  • Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
  • If people with one arm go get their nails done, do they pay half price?

September 14, 2018

  • Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
  • What do you call male ballerinas?
  •  If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  • Do turkeys get sleepy from that thing in turkey that makes you sleepy?

September 13, 2018

  • Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
  • Why when you’re looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
  • Why do you have to “put your two cents in”. but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
  • Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?

September 12, 2018

  • Which came first the chicken or the egg?
  • If you were born deaf what language do you think in?
  • If humans cannot see air, can fish not see water?
  • If trees produce oxygen, then how can we breath in the desert?

September 11, 2018

  • Can you make toast in a microwave?
  • Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground close up?
  • Why are they called apartments, if they are built together?
  • Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?

September 10, 2018

  • If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
  • Is it still illegal to park next to a fire hydrant, even if your car is on fire?
  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
  • Are you left or right eyed?

September 7, 2018

  • Is a group of squids called a squad?
  • Is night called “night” because their is no light?
  • What color are mirrors?
  • Who taught the first teacher?

September 6, 2018

  • If you crash a car on purpose, is it still an accident?
  • If you lift a shopping cart in the air does that mean you’re shoplifting?
  • Why is their an eject button on the remote? When you have to get up to change the disk anyway?
  • Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore when you could just go pick them up?

September 5, 2018

  • What happens when you say “Hi” to an old friend on an airplane named Jack?
  • Why is a pizza box square if the pizza is a circle and a slice is a triangle?
  • Is the “S” or “C” silent in scent?
  • How come our nose runs, but our feet smell?

September 4, 2018

  • What happens if you get ‘scared half to death’ twice?
  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too?
  • If a fork was made out of gold would it still be considered silverware?
  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

May 17, 2018

  • Why are softballs so hard?
  • Why is it called a “drive through” if you have to stop?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge but not the freezer?
  • Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
  • How can you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

May 7, 2018

  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  • Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
  • When something is funny why is it called a “knee-slapper” when you actually slap your thigh?

May 2, 2018

  • If Jesus walked on water, does that mean he could swim on land?
  • If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?
  • Why is it called chili if its hot?

April 19, 2018

  • Do you think the ocean is salty because the land never waves back?
  • Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday is so close to Monday?
  • What color are mirrors?
  • What does water taste like?

April 11, 2018

  • What happens if a very stoppable force meets a very movable object?
  • If Pi is never ending, why is there still world hunger?
  • If sound can’t travel through vacuums, why are they so loud?
  • If Corn Oil is made from corn, and Olive Oil is made from olives, where does Baby Oil come from?

April 4, 2018

  • Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?
  •  If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
  • How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
  • If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

April 3, 2018

  • If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
  • Why do they call it quick sand if it sucks you down slowly?
  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
  • Is there a synonym for synonym?

March 23, 2018

  • If the human body is ~90% water, why can’t we put out fires with our bodies?
  • When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
  • Why is there no “w” in “one”, but there is a “w” in “two” and we don’t use it?
  • Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game,” when we are already there?
  • If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?

March 13, 2018

  • If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • If there’s a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called “stand-up” comedy?
  • Why are highways build so close to the ground?
  • If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call the resulting company Fed UP?

March 7, 2018

  • How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?
  • Why is clear considered a color?
  • Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?
  • Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
  • Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

March 1, 2018

  • What happens when you get scared half to death twice?
  • At a movie theater what arm rest is yours?
  • When does it stop being partly cloudy and partly sunny?

February 28, 2018

  • If you work at the Samsung Store, does that make you a garden of the galaxy?
  • If its possible to eat myself, would I be twice as big or disappear?
  • Does a straw have one hole or two?

February 27, 2018

  • If all the world’s a stage, where does the audience sit?
  • Why don’t you ever see ads for advertising companies?
  • If superman is so smart, why does he wear his underwear over his pants?

February 26, 2018

  • Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
  • How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day?
  • If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be “degraded”?
  • What shape is the sky?
  • Where do all the daylight savings hours go?
  • Why do black lights look purple?

February 21, 2018

  • Why is the word “abbreviation” so long?
  • Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles?
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  • If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
  • Why do they make scented toilet paper?

February 14, 2018

  • Is it weird to get yourself a gift on Valentine’s Day?
  • Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
  • Why is a boxing ring square?
  • Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
  • Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?

February 12, 2018

  • Do fish get thirsty?
  • What happened to Old Zealand?
  • Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
  • Why aren’t there ever any guilty bystanders?
  • Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?

February 8, 2018

  • How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
  • If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?
  • How come people say they ate the last piece of gum when they really just chew it?

February 6, 2018

  • If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
  • Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
  • How do you find the area of a squirrel?
  • If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag?

February 5, 2018

  • Why does lightning strike?
  • Why can’t you walk in a straight line with your eyes closed?
  • Why are people left or right handed?

January 31, 2018

  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
  • If you decide that you are indecisive, which one are you?
  • If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

January 30, 2018

  • What’s the difference between an novel and a book?
  • Why isn’t caps lock capitalized?
  • Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?
  • Can you slam a revolving door?
  • Is there ever a day mattresses aren’t on sale?
  • What shape is the sky?
  • Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.

January 29, 2018

  • How long is a piece of string?
  • If you didn’t get caught, did you really do it?
  • If peanut butter cookies are made of peanut butter, what are girl scout cookies made of?
  • Once you are in heaven, are you stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in?
  • Why is the 0 on a phone after the 1 and not before the 1?

January 26, 2018

  • Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
  • Can you read a picture book?
  • If nobody buys a ticket to a movie, do they still show it?
  • Do humming birds hum because they don’t know the words?
  • Which is the other side of the street?
  • Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?
  • If you put a chameleon in a room full of colors, what color would it turn?

January 25, 2018

  • Can you cry under water?
  • Why is vanilla ice cream white, when vanilla extract is brown?
  • Why does quicksand work slowly?
  • Do fish get thirsty?
  • Do penguins have knees?
  • Why do they make cars so fast, if it’s illegal to drive that fast?
  • Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?

January 24, 2018

  • Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
  • What do you call a question without an answer?
  • What ever happened to an E grade? We have A, B, C, D, and F but no E.
  • What do you call a female daddy long leg?
  • How come rain drops and snow falls?
  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

January 23, 2018

  • At a movie theater which armrest is yours?
  • How far east can you go before you head west?
  • Can you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
  • If the London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
  • If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

November 14

  • Do crabs think fish are flying?
  • Are pizza rolls just gushers made of pizza?
  • If you are wearing a shirt inside out, is the shirt wearing you?
  • If you’re writing a book about failure and it doesn’t sell is it a success?
  • If plastic is made of oil and oil is made of dinosaurs, does that mean that plastic dinosaurs are made of real dinosaurs?
  • If I save time, when do i get it back?
  • Can you play a left handed guitar if you are right handed
  • If your vacuum is broken, does it suck?
  • When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
  • What’s a question with no answer called?
  • If mars has an earthquake, is it called a marsquake?
  • Can I cry under water?

November 15

  • IS IT DONUT OR DOUGHNUT????
  • If you cant drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
  • If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
  • Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?
  • Why do we kill people for killing people to show them killing is wrong?

November 20

  • Why are bananas berries but strawberries are not?
  • Is Disney world a people trap operated by a mouse?
  • Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?