• Dr. Herpy

Stupid Question Of The Day

By Connor Kramer

November 15, 2019

  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

November 14, 2019

  • Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

November 12, 2019

  • If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

November 11, 2019

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November 7, 2019

  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

November 6, 2019

  • Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?

November 5, 2019

  • Why is the word for “a fear of long words,” hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?

November 4, 2019

  • What do people in China call their good plates?

November 1, 2019

  • Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

October 31, 2019

  • Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food?

October 30, 2019

  • Why is it called beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll.

October 29, 2019

  • Why is it called a “drive through” if you have to stop?

October 28, 2019

October 25, 2019

  • If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?

October 24, 2019

  • How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?

October 23, 2019

  • If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

October 22, 2019

  • If an escalator breaks down, does it become stairs?

October 21, 2019

  • Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

October 17, 2019

  • What happened to Old Zealand?

October 15, 2019

  • If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water… how did she ever bathe?

October 14, 2019

  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

October 11, 2019

  • Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

October 10, 2019

  • If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

October 8, 2019

  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

October 7, 2019

  • Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?

October 4, 2019

  • Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

October 3, 2019

  • Are the good things that come to people who wait, the leftovers of people who went before them?

October 2, 2019

  • Do English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?

October 1, 2019

  • Why is it that when you move something from one place to another in a car it’s called shipping, but if you do it with a boat it’s called cargo?

September 30, 2019

  • Is a hotdog a sandwich?

September 27, 2019

  • What can one catch that is not thrown?

September 26, 2019

  • At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

September 25, 2019

  • Why do they call it a TV “set” when you only get one?

September 24, 2019

  • After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

September 23, 2019

  • Why are Softballs hard?

September 20, 2019

  • How much milk is there in the Milky Way?

September 19, 2019

  • If you eat yourself, would you become twice as big or disappear completely?

September 18, 2019

  • What is a male ladybug called?

September 17, 2019

  • What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?

September 13, 2019

  • What’s a question with no answer called?

September 12, 2019

  • If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?

September 11, 2019

  • Do fish get thirsty?

September 10, 2019

  • Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

September 9, 2019

  • Why do they call them pepperoni if there is no pepper in it?

September 6, 2019

  • Can you cry under water?

September 5, 2019

  • If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

September 4, 2019

  • If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

September 3, 2019

  • Is it possible to make toast in the microwave?

August 29, 2019

  • If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

August 28, 2019

  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too?

By Sarah Jaroch and Keirstan Mesnick

May 22, 2019

  • Is the Earth round like a ball or like a plate?
  • Why are humans supposed to be in shape? Which shape are they talking about?

May 21, 2019

  • If you crash a car on purpose, is it still an accident?
  • If you lift a shopping cart in the air does that mean you’re shoplifting?

May 20, 2019

  • If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  • Why are Softballs hard?

May 17, 2019

  • Why do you park in a driveway but drive in a parkway?
  • Are pets called pets because we pet them, or do we pet them because they’re called pets?

May 16, 2019

  • Why are bananas berries but strawberries are not?
  • Is Disney world a people trap operated by a mouse?

May 15, 2019

  • Can a pancake ever be a waffle?
  • Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?

May 14, 2019

  • What would happen if a police committed a crime?
  • If life is unfair to everyone, does that make it fair?

May 13, 2019

  • Do clothes in China say “made around the corner” or something along those lines?
  • If Cinderella’s shoes fit perfect why did it fall off?

May 10, 2019

  • Why do wise guy and wise man mean totally different things?
  • Why do we wash bath towels if we’re always clean when we use them?

May 9, 2019

  • Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground up close?
  • Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

May 8, 2019

  • Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from coca beans, and all beans are vegetables?
  • You know how most packages say “Open here”? What do you do if the package says “Open somewhere else”?

May 7, 2019

  • Has anyone ever called you to ask where the remote it?
  • Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” if we’re already there?

May 6, 2019

  • If the funeral procession is at night, do they drive with their lights off?
  • If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?

May 3, 2019

  • Why do we put shirts in a suit case and suits in a garment bag?
  • Why do they call it quick sand if you get sucked down slowly?

May 2, 2019

  • Why do they make scented toilet paper?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

May 1, 2019

  • Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
  • How does the snow plow driver get to work in the morning?

April 30, 2019

  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • If a cow laughed, would milk come out of their nose?

April 29, 2019

  • Is there a synonym for synonym?
  • If swimming is good for your shape, then why do whales look the way they do?

April 26, 2019

  • If you save time, when do you get it back?
  • Why do we call something sent by car, shipment and something sent by ship, cargo?

April 25, 2019

  • Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
  • If the president was gay, would his husband be the first man?

April 24, 2019

  • Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

April 23, 2019

  • Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
  • If a fork was made of gold, would it still be called silverware?

April 18, 2019

  • Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
  • Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game,” when we are already there?

April 17, 2019

  • What’s a question with no answer called?
  • Why is Charlie short for Charles if they have the same number of letters?

April 16, 2019

  • When something is funny why is it called a “knee-slapper” when you actually slap your thigh?
  • Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved all of America’s problems?

April 15, 2019

  • Why do we say “pair of pants” if there is only one article of clothing involved?
  • Why do your feet smell but your nose runs?

April 12, 2019

  • Why don’t you ever see ads for advertising companies?
  • Why do all superheros wear underwear on the outside?

April 11, 2019

  • Can we spell “creativity” however we want?
  • What happens when you get ‘scared half to death’ twice?

April 10, 2019

  • If a two year old hands you a toy phone, do you answer it?
  • What percent of celery is water?

April 9, 2019

  • Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an inlet?
  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why’s it still #2?

April 8, 2019

  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
  • Can you cry under water?

April 5, 2019

  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
  • Why do kids learn math when they could just use calculators like the grown-ups?

April 4, 2019

  • When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
  • Why is Greenland called green when it is covered in ice?

April 3, 2019

  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

April 2, 2019

  • Can blind people see their dreams?
  • If you press the 60 second button on the microwave, will it cook for 60 seconds or one minute?

April 1, 2019

  • Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?
  • If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

March 22, 2019

  • Why do we call them oranges when half of ’em are yellow?
  • Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?

March 21, 2019

  • Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat ‘Macaroni’?
  • Why is “the fear of long words”, hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, so long?

March 20, 2019

  • Why aren’t blue berries blue?
  • Are you left or right eyed?

March 19, 2019

  • Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on Start?
  • How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

March 18, 2019

  • What’s the color of your toothbrush?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

March 15, 2019

  • Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
  • If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

March 14, 2019

  • Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
  • Why do they call it a TV “set” when you only get one?

March 13, 2019

  • Why is it called “beauty sleep” if you wake up looking like a troll?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

March 12, 2019

  • How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

March 11, 2019

  • Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
  • If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

March 7, 2019

  • You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can’t you be simply whelmed?
  • Do turkeys get sleepy from that thing in turkey that makes you sleepy?

March 6, 2019

  • Why aren’t apple chargers called apple juice?
  • Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

March 5, 2019

  • Why do we scrub down and wash up?
  • How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated?

March 4, 2019

  • Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
  • What would happen if a police committed a crime?

March 1, 2019

  • Why does it hurt to hit your funny bone?
  • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

February 28, 2019

  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food?

February 27, 2019

  • How is birthday cake is a flavor, if birthday cakes can be any flavor?
  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

February 26, 2019

  • If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
  • Where’s the egg in an egg roll?

February 25, 2019

  • Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
  • Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

February 22, 2019

  • Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
  • Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?

February 21, 2019

  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?
  • Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

February 20, 2019

  • How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

February 19, 2019

  • Who wants to own a convertible that you drive only to work and back?
  • Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

February 14, 2019

  • What’s the meaning of life?
  • Can’t the postman give it to the garbage man and save us the hassle?

February 13, 2019

  • What disease did cured ham actually have?
  • Why is it called a “drive through” if you have to stop?

February 12, 2019

  • What do people in China call their good plates?
  • Why does Goofy stand up straight, while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs.

February 11, 2019

  • How do “Do not walk on the grass” signs get there?
  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

February 8, 2019

  • If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  • Why are Softballs hard?

February 7, 2019

  • Why isn’t 11 pronounced “onety-one”?
  • How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?

February 6, 2019

  • If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
  • Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

February 5, 2019

  • Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
  • Why do we still call it “shipping” when it goes by plane and truck?

February 4, 2019

  • Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

February 1, 2019

  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why’s it still #2?

January 29, 2019

  • What does water taste like?
  • Can you see darkness?

January 28, 2019

  • Why do you park in a driveway but drive in a parkway?
  • Are pets called pets because we pet them, or do we pet them because they’re called pets?

January 25, 2019

  • Does Lightning McQueen buy life insurance or car insurance?
  • If a vacuum sucks, does that mean it’s bad?

January 24, 2019

  • Why is there a ‘D’ in ‘fridge’ but not in ‘refrigerator’?
  • How do you throw away a garbage can?

January 23, 2019

  • If you drop soap on the floor is the soap clean or is the floor dirty?
  • Why is a building called a building if it’s already built?

January 22, 2019

  • Why do people say the alarm just went off if it just came on?
  • Is sand called sand because it’s between the sea and the land?

January 18, 2019

  • If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
  • Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an inlet?

November 20, 2018

  • Do crabs think fish are flying?
  • If no one buys a ticket to a movie, do they still show it?

November 19, 2018

  • Is water wet?
  • If you can’t drink and drive, why do bars having parking lots?

November 16, 2018

  • Can a pancake ever be a waffle?
  • Why do dogs bark but cats meow?

November 13, 2018

  • How many sides does a circle have?
  • If you take the wings off a fly does it become a walk?

November 12, 2018

  • Why is the word for “a fear of long words,” hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?
  • Is Spongebob some sort of sea creature?

November 8, 2018

  • Can you cry under water?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

November 7, 2018

  • Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
  • Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

November 6, 2018

  • If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

November 5, 2018

  • If you drop soap on the floor, is the soap dirty or the floor clean?
  • Do clothes in China say “made around the corner” or something along those lines?

November 2, 2018

  • Why isn’t 11 pronounced “onety-one”?
  • Why do we say “eats like a bird” when every day a bird eats its own weight in food?

November 1, 2018

  • What do you call male ballerinas?
  • Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

October 31, 2018

  • Can 2+2 ever equal 5?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

October 30, 2018

  • Are there birds in Canada?
  • Did NASA invent thunderstorms to cover up space battles?

October 29, 2018

  • Does it take 18 months for twins to be born, instead of 9?
  • Are chickens animals or birds?

October 26, 2018

  • 9+10?
  • If Cinderella’s shoes fit perfect why did it fall off?

October 25, 2018

  • If you give someone Christmas wrapping for Christmas, do you wrap the wrapping?
  • What does water taste like?

October 24, 2018

  • If life is unfair to everyone, does that make it fair?
  • Where does the word go when you erase it on paper?

October 23, 2018

  • If only 2% is milk, then what is the other 98%?
  • If you’re cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?

October 22, 2018

  • If two mind readers are reading each other’s mind. Who’s mind are they reading?
  • If Ebola breaks in Vegas, does it stay in Vegas?

October 19, 2018

  • If a turtle loses its shell, is it homeless or naked?
  • If two right handed people killed each other, who would be left?

October 18, 2018

  • If you see two bigfoot, are they called bigfeet or bigfoots?
  • Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday is so close to Monday?

October 17, 2018

  • If more cheese equals more holes, and more holes equals less cheese, then more cheese equals less cheese?
  • Is there another word synonym?

October 16, 2018

  • Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
  • Can you cry under water?

October 15, 2018 

  • Can blind people see their dreams?
  • You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can’t you be simply whelmed?

October 11, 2018

  • Is the Earth round like a ball or like a plate?
  • Why are humans supposed to be in shape? Which shape are they talking about?

October 9, 2018

  • When Cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
  • Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an inlet?

October 8, 2018

  • If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
  • If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

October 5, 2018

  • What disease did cured ham actually have?
  • Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

October 4, 2018

  • What if batman gets bitten by a vampire?
  • If I save time, when do I get it back?

October 3, 2018

  • Did they purposely make dyslexia hard to spell?
  • Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

October 2, 2018

  • Why do we say “pair of pants” when it is only one article of clothing?
  • Why do we call something sent by a car a shipment and something sent by a ship cargo?

October 1, 2018

  • Why is the zero on a phone after the one and not before?
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

September 28, 2018

  • If a cow laughed would milk come out its nose?
  • If I ate myself would I become 2 times bigger or disappear completely?

September 27, 2018

  • Is it true cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
  • Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

September 26, 2018

  • Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?
  • If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

September 25, 2018

  • Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?
  • Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food?

September 24, 2018

  • Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
  • Why do kids learn math when they could just use calculators like real men?

September 21, 2018

  • Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?
  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

September 20, 2018

  • Do blind people feel ‘Love at first sight’?
  • How long is a piece of string?

September 19, 2018

  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
  • Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

September 18, 2018

  • When you clean the vacuum cleaner, do you become the vacuum cleaner?
  • How do “Do not walk on the grass” signs get there?

September 17, 2018

  • Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
  • If people with one arm go get their nails done, do they pay half price?

September 14, 2018

  • Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
  • What do you call male ballerinas?
  •  If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  • Do turkeys get sleepy from that thing in turkey that makes you sleepy?

September 13, 2018

  • Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
  • Why when you’re looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
  • Why do you have to “put your two cents in”. but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
  • Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?

September 12, 2018

  • Which came first the chicken or the egg?
  • If you were born deaf what language do you think in?
  • If humans cannot see air, can fish not see water?
  • If trees produce oxygen, then how can we breath in the desert?

September 11, 2018

  • Can you make toast in a microwave?
  • Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground close up?
  • Why are they called apartments, if they are built together?
  • Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?

September 10, 2018

  • If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
  • Is it still illegal to park next to a fire hydrant, even if your car is on fire?
  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
  • Are you left or right eyed?

September 7, 2018

  • Is a group of squids called a squad?
  • Is night called “night” because their is no light?
  • What color are mirrors?
  • Who taught the first teacher?

September 6, 2018

  • If you crash a car on purpose, is it still an accident?
  • If you lift a shopping cart in the air does that mean you’re shoplifting?
  • Why is their an eject button on the remote? When you have to get up to change the disk anyway?
  • Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore when you could just go pick them up?

September 5, 2018

  • What happens when you say “Hi” to an old friend on an airplane named Jack?
  • Why is a pizza box square if the pizza is a circle and a slice is a triangle?
  • Is the “S” or “C” silent in scent?
  • How come our nose runs, but our feet smell?

September 4, 2018

  • What happens if you get ‘scared half to death’ twice?
  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too?
  • If a fork was made out of gold would it still be considered silverware?
  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

May 17, 2018

  • Why are softballs so hard?
  • Why is it called a “drive through” if you have to stop?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge but not the freezer?
  • Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
  • How can you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

May 7, 2018

  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  • Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
  • When something is funny why is it called a “knee-slapper” when you actually slap your thigh?

May 2, 2018

  • If Jesus walked on water, does that mean he could swim on land?
  • If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?
  • Why is it called chili if its hot?

April 19, 2018

  • Do you think the ocean is salty because the land never waves back?
  • Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday is so close to Monday?
  • What color are mirrors?
  • What does water taste like?

April 11, 2018

  • What happens if a very stoppable force meets a very movable object?
  • If Pi is never ending, why is there still world hunger?
  • If sound can’t travel through vacuums, why are they so loud?
  • If Corn Oil is made from corn, and Olive Oil is made from olives, where does Baby Oil come from?

April 4, 2018

  • Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?
  •  If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
  • How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
  • If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

April 3, 2018

  • If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
  • Why do they call it quick sand if it sucks you down slowly?
  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
  • Is there a synonym for synonym?

March 23, 2018

  • If the human body is ~90% water, why can’t we put out fires with our bodies?
  • When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
  • Why is there no “w” in “one”, but there is a “w” in “two” and we don’t use it?
  • Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game,” when we are already there?
  • If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?

March 13, 2018

  • If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • If there’s a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called “stand-up” comedy?
  • Why are highways build so close to the ground?
  • If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call the resulting company Fed UP?

March 7, 2018

  • How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?
  • Why is clear considered a color?
  • Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?
  • Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
  • Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

March 1, 2018

  • What happens when you get scared half to death twice?
  • At a movie theater what arm rest is yours?
  • When does it stop being partly cloudy and partly sunny?

February 28, 2018

  • If you work at the Samsung Store, does that make you a garden of the galaxy?
  • If its possible to eat myself, would I be twice as big or disappear?
  • Does a straw have one hole or two?

February 27, 2018

  • If all the world’s a stage, where does the audience sit?
  • Why don’t you ever see ads for advertising companies?
  • If superman is so smart, why does he wear his underwear over his pants?

February 26, 2018

  • Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
  • How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day?
  • If a teacher were to teach a younger grade than they were teaching before, would they be “degraded”?
  • What shape is the sky?
  • Where do all the daylight savings hours go?
  • Why do black lights look purple?

February 21, 2018

  • Why is the word “abbreviation” so long?
  • Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles?
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  • If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
  • Why do they make scented toilet paper?

February 14, 2018

  • Is it weird to get yourself a gift on Valentine’s Day?
  • Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
  • Why is a boxing ring square?
  • Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
  • Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?

February 12, 2018

  • Do fish get thirsty?
  • What happened to Old Zealand?
  • Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
  • Why aren’t there ever any guilty bystanders?
  • Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?
  • If you only have one eye…are you blinking or winking?

February 8, 2018

  • Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?
  • How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
  • If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?
  • How come people say they ate the last piece of gum when they really just chew it?

February 6, 2018

  • If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
  • Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
  • How do you find the area of a squirrel?
  • If space is a vacuum, who changes the bag?

February 5, 2018

  • Why does lightning strike?
  • Why can’t you walk in a straight line with your eyes closed?
  • Why are people left or right handed?

January 31, 2018

  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
  • If you decide that you are indecisive, which one are you?
  • If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

January 30, 2018

  • What’s the difference between an novel and a book?
  • Why isn’t caps lock capitalized?
  • Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?
  • Can you slam a revolving door?
  • Is there ever a day mattresses aren’t on sale?
  • What shape is the sky?
  • Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.

January 29, 2018

  • How long is a piece of string?
  • If you didn’t get caught, did you really do it?
  • If peanut butter cookies are made of peanut butter, what are girl scout cookies made of?
  • Once you are in heaven, are you stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in?
  • Why is the 0 on a phone after the 1 and not before the 1?

January 26, 2018

  • Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
  • Can you read a picture book?
  • If nobody buys a ticket to a movie, do they still show it?
  • Do humming birds hum because they don’t know the words?
  • Which is the other side of the street?
  • Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?
  • If you put a chameleon in a room full of colors, what color would it turn?

January 25, 2018

  • Can you cry under water?
  • Why is vanilla ice cream white, when vanilla extract is brown?
  • Why does quicksand work slowly?
  • Do fish get thirsty?
  • Do penguins have knees?
  • Why do they make cars so fast, if it’s illegal to drive that fast?
  • Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?

January 24, 2018

  • Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
  • What do you call a question without an answer?
  • What ever happened to an E grade? We have A, B, C, D, and F but no E.
  • What do you call a female daddy long leg?
  • How come rain drops and snow falls?
  • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

January 23, 2018

  • At a movie theater which armrest is yours?
  • How far east can you go before you head west?
  • Can you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
  • If the London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
  • If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

November 14

  • Do crabs think fish are flying?
  • Are pizza rolls just gushers made of pizza?
  • If you are wearing a shirt inside out, is the shirt wearing you?
  • If you’re writing a book about failure and it doesn’t sell is it a success?
  • If plastic is made of oil and oil is made of dinosaurs, does that mean that plastic dinosaurs are made of real dinosaurs?
  • If I save time, when do i get it back?
  • Can you play a left handed guitar if you are right handed
  • If your vacuum is broken, does it suck?
  • When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
  • What’s a question with no answer called?
  • If mars has an earthquake, is it called a marsquake?
  • Can I cry under water?

November 15

  • IS IT DONUT OR DOUGHNUT????
  • If you cant drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  • If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
  • Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?
  • Why do we kill people for killing people to show them killing is wrong?

November 20

  • Why are bananas berries but strawberries are not?
  • Is Disney world a people trap operated by a mouse?
  • Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?